Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

Spousal Conversations

I know I’m a competent woman – have always know it, I suppose, but it never quite occurred to me to think about it.  I was just…competent – at pretty much everything I ever set my mind to – and I don’t mean the “merely acceptable” definition.

Until I got (re)married, my own competence was sort of invisible to me.  And actually it never really occurred to me that others were not exactly like I was – I just thought of myself as just “who I am – nothing extraordinary”.  The Hubs has remarked on more than one occasion that I’m maybe the most intelligent person he’s ever met.  Not tooting my horn here – hold on because there is a (sort of) point.  Nevertheless, it usually goes something like this:

The Hubs:  “You know, Maevey, you’re probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever met.”

Me:  “Thank you Mr. Sweetie.  Now why do I sense a “BUT” about to follow?”

The Hubs:  “Because honest to God I cannot figure out how you think!”

Me:  “What’s to figure out?”

The Hubs:  “The obvious escapes you, you do realize this, don’t you?”

Me:  “Uh, no, not really.”

The Hubs:  “You managed multi-million dollar contracts; developed most of the procedures at your company, but you can’t manage a grocery budget.”

Me:  “Not true – I can manage anything I set my mind to.”

The Hubs:  “Why can’t you set your mind to managing the grocery budget?  There are only three of us here right now and one of them eats out all the time.  How can you spend $250 per week on the two of us?”

Me:  “Well, I shop in case I change my mind.”

The Hubs:  “Change your mind about what?”

Me:  “What I cook for dinner.”

The Hubs:  “I can’t follow where this is going.”

Me:  Well, since YOU brought it up.  You know I plan out our dinners and your lunches and all that.  That’s all fine.  But I need options in case I change my mind and don’t feeling like cooking what I had planned.  I need to have things in the house in case I want to cook something else.”

The Hubs:  “You’ve got to be out of your ever loving mind!  You’re shopping like this because you MIGHT want to cook something different on a Tuesday?”

Me:  “Yes.”

The Hubs:  “Maevey – YOU CAN GO TO THE STORE MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK!” (I use all caps here, because this is generally delivered at a lowish level of roar.”

Me:  “Stop shouting at me.”

The Hubs:  “You are totally out of control!”

Me:  “I know exactly what I’m doing.”

The Hubs:  “I give up!  There’s no getting through to you on this, is there?”

Me:  “I thought you liked my cooking!”

The Hubs:  “This has nothing to do with your cooking.  I need you to reign in the grocery budget.”

Me:  “OK – how much can I spend?”

The Hubs:  “Let’s go with $100/week.”

Me:  “So basically, soup and sandwiches?”

The Hubs:  “No!  Can’t you cook on a budget?”

Me:  “Even I can’t work miracles!”

The Hubs:  “Just try – PLEASE – just try!”

So I’m going to TRY and develop budgetary competence – for him, not for me.  Because I’m loving like that!


I Know It’s Been a Long Time

I kind of think I’m back – actually I’ve tried a couple times over the last nearly two years, but every attempt met with crushing defeat.

Sometimes just making it through another day is a victory, but it feels stupid that you’ve  nothing to share – got up, went to work, took 8 – 10 hours of abuse, tried to close up, cook dinner, drink  myself to sleep.  Not a pretty picture.

And you know what – in all this time some amazing things have happened and I count not rejoice in a single one of them.  Mind you, crap happened to.  But let’s get a little list of “What Happened to Maeveypants Over the Last 18 Months”:

  • Ran off to Las Vegan and got married
  • Angharad FINALLY went back to college (she will graduate in the spring)
  • Hubs broke his ankle STANDING ON THE BACK PORCH – don’t ask!  Took 21 days to get a pass to drive him to his workplace (again, don’t ask!!)
  • Yours truly has developed “issues” with the C5 & C6 vertebrae (what this means is I had a lot of MRIs, and experienced the hell that is dealing with the “pain clinic”
  • One of the MRIs disovered a brain tumor that doesn’t seem to be doing anything, so I’m not supposed to be overly concerned (for real!).
  • Iseult graduated from HS and started college this fall and is dealing with the joys and anguish of her first boyfriend.  This means that I am dealing with said joys and anguish, as well.  But this is OK, because she has other problems which really keep me up at night and I’m just grateful every day that she’s alive.
  • Oh yeah – I quit my job (last day was the 20th) and I’m not handling it particularly well.
  • God and I are in a state of detente at present.  That’s not really the word I want to use, but I can’t come up with another one.  It bothers  me greatly, but I still can’t get myself to Mass.  Or pray.  But sometimes we talk – or rather I whine and complain and rant on and on.

So that’s the quickie roundup.  I really want to start blogging again and I hope I can.

No promises though.




Reality-Based Menu – Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel Edition

Read and weep:

  • Monday – Chili (yep – that was it – while working or doing homework)
  • Tuesday – Roasted Cauliflower Carbonara (maybe) – and the only reason for this is that there actually IS a cauliflower in my refrigerator; also eggs and parmesan cheese (remember how I talked about maybe making it over the weekend?  Guess what?  I didn’t.  Quel surprise, non???).
  • Wednesday – Leftovers – because there’s still a lot of chili and there will probably be pasta
  • Thursday – Chicken-something and Salad (because there is chicken in the fridge and I have to cook it because there’s no room in the freezer because I go shopping and then don’t cook what I buy)
  • Friday – “The Tears of our Forefathers” (I saw that on FB a couple weeks ago and laughed so hard I damn near peed myself)
  • Weekend – I don’t know and I don’t care.  Nobody will starve.

This is a brutal week for me and for the people who live with me.  There are tests, play practice, the actual play itself, and there is work – a great deal of gut-churning, migraine-inducing work.  It’s always like this one week out of the month – this would be that week.

It’s these times when nobody cares about eating, but we should.  I know that good meals would help, but that would require a level of attention which is not possible from anyone.    Frankly, if I could, I’d order takeout every night just to cut myself a break (Well, Maevey, why don’t you just go ahead and order takeout every night?  Because instead of thinking ahead and planning, I spent the takeout budget on actual groceries.  Le Sigh).

Please, somebody tell me that you’re inspired to cook something nice for your family this week (it will give me hope…)



Sometimes No News is Just No News

It feels a little odd to post when I haven’t really anything about which to post (maybe I should have issued an “Awkward Sentence Alert for that one).

I’ve been hanging out a little on FB; read a couple Gothics; and was required to actually WEAR PANTS this morning when taking Iseult to her carpool.

Other things going on at my house…

Angharad announced that it was about time for “Gonnagetcoldageddon”

I sort of lost my temper on FB over the perpetually peeved among us peeing themselves all over the internet because a guy wore a cool shirt when talking about the most interesting scientific event of, say, the last decade, maybe (I’m sure there have been others, but hey, I’m tired and I’m giving myself a pass – feel free, however, to post other scientific things about which we can be excited).

Also, the following happened.

On Saturday evening my best friend came over for dinner and movie – her men (husband & sons) were camping, so this was excellent timing.  I bought one of these at my local Harris Teeter.  It was super delicious and even better I didn’t have to do anything but put it in the oven and let it cook.  Well, actually, I had to put it in the oven breast-side up and snip a 1-inch vent in the bag.  It’s a measure of how distracted I am, that I didn’t notice I’d roasted it upside down until it was cooked and I’m staring at it trying to figure out how to carve the damn thing (also trying to figure out how to get it out of the bag – it was fall-apart tender).

So, there’s the four of us in the kitchen, staring at the stupid chicken in the stupid bag, upside down in the stupid roasting pan, and Iseult helpfully  pipes up “You just want me to flip the bird for you?”

We all stop and stare at her; she turns beet-red and we all start howling with laughter.

“Sure sweetie, you flip that bird all you want”

Good times Chez Maeve et Filles.

Oh – I also had to call my in-laws to tell them the divorce was final.  My MIL started crying and it was very sucktastic.  On the positive note, however, they’re coming for Thanksgiving, so I won’t be required to bake Retaliatory Cupcakes this year 🙂


Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

So, umm, just what the heck is that Maevey?



Maeve’s General-All-purpose-Mood-Enhancer

Why it’s a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate syrup on it.

Isn’t that sort of the universal female answer to all our travails? You got something better?


Le Meh – It Continues

It would appear that I’m jonesin’ for a fight.  You know how that is, right?  You’re cranky and irritated and you just want to duke it out (preferably with someone who’s feeling similarly inclined so you can be friends afterwards).

It’s sort of a dangerous state for me, because I get just a leeeeeeetle free with my words (verbal/written, doesn’t matter) and you know how hard it is to take back things you say.  I’m always skating a thin line anyway, so it’s especially important that I get a grip.

I’m trying to figure out what’s eating at me.  There’s this massive crisis of faith I’m dealing with (or not dealing with); there’s the pending finalization of my divorce; there’s the insomnia; there’s the worry over my girls. Then there’s the mass insanity going on all over the world.  But none of this is exactly “new”, so I’m not quite sure what has me all riled up this week in particular.

Maybe I need some down time – real downtime.  Or sleep.  Or a good book.

Or cheesecake.