Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

NSFW Friday Redux

In spite of my previous assertion that this was not going to become a regular habit, we have another edition of Not Safe For Work Friday. This week’s insanity is brought to you by one Gwyneth Paltrow (who can’t quite seem to understand the concept of TMI).

Happy Friday.

(Aside from the fact that I spewed tea all over my monitor, I was left with the burning question – how, exactly does a man get a “V-Steam” if there’s no “V” to “steam”?)


Sunday Sillies – Mysterious Creatures Edition

Would anyone be surprised to learn that I’m completely fascinated by the Loch Ness Monster?  It’s true.  My dream vacation is heading to Scotland for a week on this most mysterious lake, searching for signs of the elusive Nessie.

Until that time, though, I can find other ways to indulge in a little whimsey.

Such as this….


The Nessie Ladle (It’s not my pic – click here to head to The Awesomer)


Um, is this not the most adorable thing ever?  And you want one too, right?  Well, take a number, sister (or brother).  They’re already out of stock and I’m ahead of you on the list.

(It’s my theory that this ladle could make anything taste better.  No, I don’t have any actual concrete proof, but really, how could it not?



Which Cartoon Wife Are You?

I’m somewhat addicted to the stupid FB quizzes which will tell you what sort of fruit or mythological creature or superhero you are.  Nearly every time I end up blinking in confusion.  What?  Really?  Not so much.

This morning I was thinking about which cartoon wife I most resembled.  No, I don’t know why I was thinking about it and let’s not let the little detail of “I’m not actually a wife anymore” get in the way.  I was a wife for a long time.  But I digress.  So, cartoon wives – there are so many to choose from. Some I like and some make me want to howl.  But which one did I most identify with? Which one was my inner cartoon wife?

Are you ready?  It’s Mrs. Taz.  That’s right. Mrs. Taz.

So how about you?  Which of the following is your inner cartoon wife? (um, even if you’re single you can probably see some elements of these animated ladies in your own self, so go ahead and participate)

  • Wilma Flintstone
  • Betty Rubble
  • Jane Jetson
  • Peggy Hill
  • Lois Griffin (Family Guy)
  • Marge Simpson
  • Blondie Bumstead
  • Helga (Mrs. Hagar the Horrible)
  • Natasha Fatale (thanks Fuzzie – how could I have forgotten her???)

What others can you think of?

(probably should have done one of those polls I’m so fond of, but just wasn’t in the mood today).


NSFW Friday

I’m not really about to have this become a regular feature, however The Anchoress had me laughing so hard I nearly, well, TMI.

It’s not for the easily (or perpetually) offended.  But it is funny.  And true.

So for everyone who’s really REALLY tired of genital worship (by certain folks with the XX chromosomal make up and/or those who wish they had the XX chromosomal make up and/or those who think they have, but really don’t have the XX chromosomal make up), I pass along this link.

Happy Friday.

(JMHO – having a hoo ha doesn’t really make you all that special (or not special).  It just means you have a hoo ha.)


Just Go With The Flow

My Christmas tree is still up.

That’s right – my Christmas tree is still up.  All the stuff is still on it.  Also the stockings are still hanging on the mantle.

I know what you’re thinking – “Is she planning to just leave it all up until Valentine’s Day?”  Well, maybe not that long.  I don’t like taking down the tree.  It’s anticlimactic.  There’s no special “taking down the tree movie”; no special ritual; no cookie (not that I’m baking at the moment).  It’s just a January blah.

In past years this would have bothered me.  It’s half way through January and the tree is still up.  But I’m not letting it get to me.  I did finally take the wreath off the door.  The outside lights are down (mostly).  It will get done.

So what have I been doing if not taking down my Christmas stuff?  Well, I organized the pantry; cleaned out my closet and dresser; am half way through a reorganization of my office.  These things are far more important from daily living stand point than the tree (well other than pretty soon it’ll be a fire hazard).

Also (and this is a big deal for me) I got a Confederate Rose.  It’s not in the ground yet (as we’ve been experiencing some global warming, ummm, arctic blasts, lately).  But I’ve wanted one FOREVER  and now I have one.  I can’t wait to get it in the ground.  We’re going to plant it right next to where we buried our Lilly.  I know she’d have loved it.

So what’s next?  Well, yes, I’m going to deal with the tree (probably this week) and, weather permitting, plant my new shrub.  But if things come up and it all gets pushed out, well, OK.  None of this is life or death.  I’m going to try and keep that perspective.


It’s 2015 and I’m Grateful

A couple weeks before Christmas that word – gratitude – kept showing up everywhere on my radar.  Everywhere.  I’m a little thick in the head sometimes, but not so thick that I can’t realize when I’m being pinged. I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude; specifically what does it mean to live a life of gratitude?  What does that look like in practice?  It’s fine and dandy to talk about being all grateful for our blessings (blah, blah blah…..), but how does that translate into an actual, conscious awareness and execution?

I’m still not entirely sure, but that’s my thing for the year. I’m going, to the best of my ability, figure out what it means to live a life of gratitude and do it.

One thing that has become clear  is that there needs to be a measure of deliberation, of purpose, in one’s conduct.  I have spent the last four years largely functioning by the seat of my pants.  It makes for a chaotic life and state of mind.  My time away from (most) things internet helped tremendously – in a lot of ways (I’ll get into them later), but one thing in particular that stood out was that after more than a year playing with my blog, I still didn’t have any sort of focus.  That’s changing a bit now – and this is a good thing in my estimation.

Just so no one gets their knickers in a twist, I haven’t gone all super-broody-and-introspective-and-dour-and-humorless.  Quite the contrary.  And here’s why – gratitude lightens the heart, as does having a sense of purpose.  I no longer feel like I’m just bobbing along in the water, completely at the mercy of the waves and current, powerless to act.  It’s a dark and sometimes frightening way to live – and that needs to change.

So, here’s a little something for which I’m profoundly grateful – the very lovely people I’ve met over the past year online.  Actually, it’s been life-changing in the best possible way.

Salt mines calling.

Happy New Year to all.