Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

How to Insult Someone Without Even Trying

on July 1, 2014

Her:       So, Maevey, do you think your house would be cleaner if you didn’t have to work?

Me:        No, not really.

Her:       Why not?

Me:        Well, (you stupid cow), because if I wasn’t working I’d be sitting outside by the pool, drinking mimosas and reading some good trashy novels all day, not cleaning the (damn) house.

Her:       Oh.  Well, I guess it’s nice that you know what your priorities are.

Me:        Yes, it is (plus I un-friend you).

(I was only thinking the parts in parentheses – and I didn’t think the word “cow”, but I’m trying to clean up my potty-mouth, er potty-thoughts)


20 responses to “How to Insult Someone Without Even Trying

  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Somebody small had thoughts about your “friend”.

    • Maeve says:

      Exactly!! You’d think from the exchange that my home looked like a bomb went off – but that’s not the case – it just looks like people actually live here (I will grant, however, that certain individual(s) – have a somewhat more flexible definition of what constitutes “putting away one’s clothes” than others may have)

  2. Elspeth says:

    Firstly, she was just plain rude.

    Secondly, one of the things I’ve had to accept (especially since we started homeschooling) is that a house where people do more than stop by to shower and grab a sandwich will look different than on where people actually live, and cook whole meals, and whatnot.

    That doesn’t mean the house isn’t clean. It is usually cleaner than most. It just means you (or I) don’t spend every moment running around picking up after each family member to keep it looking spotless.

    • Maeve says:

      I’m still kicking myself (slightly) for taking that passive-aggressive bait!, and then turning about and being so obnoxious myself. Le Sigh.

      But you’re right that when you have a house where people actually spend time and their friends hang out, well, there are going to be signs of life – and truth be told, I kind of like that. The time will come soon enough when it’s just me and my things here; right now, I’ll live with some smudges on the screen door and the occasional lone shoe that gets left in the living room.

    • bike bubba says:

      Amen. A real home will never look like Martha Stewart has been there with her staff of 30 preparing it for a photoshoot. And thank God for that.

      I actually tell Mrs. bubba not to clean up after our kids, but rather to say “you made the mess, you clean it up.” We are getting there bit by bit.

      (as Martha feels a disturbance in the schwartz, er force…..have you ever seen her and Darth together? Me either)

      • Maeve says:

        LOL Mr Bubba – You’re channeling “Spaceballs now” 🙂

      • “A real home will never look like Martha Stewart has been there with her staff of 30 preparing it for a photoshoot. And that’s a good thing!”

        Fixed it for ya!

      • Maeve says:

        Nice catch there, NSR. 🙂

      • bike bubba says:

        NSR, yes, it’s a good thing, and thank God for it. Love’s a little bit dirty, no? :^)

        Maeve, worse yet, Elspeth’s Pollyanna post has me thinking about the final scene from “The Life of Brian”. Oy! Echoes of my misspent youth….

  3. hearthie says:

    My next door neighbor works…and her house is immaculate. Of course she has her own housecleaning business. 😉

    MY house is not immaculate, and I don’t work. I do have four cats, a dog, two children, and a husband who likes to fix things.

    • Maeve says:

      We have a resident little old lady dog – and she’s not much to manage, but she’s a lab and she sheds, so we sweep and vacuum daily. We also dust daily (living/dining rooms) and mop kitchen daily and tidy up bathrooms. So the house is “clean”, but yes, no way around it, there is still too much clutter – I’m working on it, but sheesh – I put in @60 hours/week at my job. I think the other part is that she really doesn’t get that just because my office is in my sunroom doesn’t mean that I’m not really at work.

    • Maeve says:

      No family in the entire country uses more Swiffer-y products than we do. I wish I could figure out how to make my own.

  4. Elspeth says:

    O/T, Maeve:

    Are you guys preparing just in case T.S Arthur decides to scrape the S. Carolina coast? All he is giving us is cooler temperatures and a breeze, but you guys…

    Said a prayer either way.

    • Maeve says:

      I’m trying to decide what to do, actually. There’s no way I could board up, but if we need to leave, that’s not too much of a problem. My neighbor’s sons will help me bring in the deck furniture, and that kind of thing. We’re getting some pretty tuff looking waves at the beach tho 🙂

      I appreciate the prayer – and truth be told, was thinking about you, too, and hoping it would just skirt on by.

  5. Jenny says:

    In order for my house to be clean, I have to be working non-stop. It’s just not worth it.

  6. Your priorities are correct.

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