Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

Another Thing Big Sisters Do For Their Younger Brothers

on April 3, 2014

 [29 Aug 14 – Because there are REPULSIVE PERVERTS out there, I edited this post to reflect the following spelling “p*rn”.  You see, today a @#$%!*&^ PERVERT found my site by searching:  “big sister with younger brother p*rn”.  UGH!]

Long Ago – say, summer 1983, if I remember correctly – I’m minding my own business in my room, when brother #1 barges in and shuts the door behind him.

Paul:      “Maevey?”

Me:        “What?”

Paul:      “I need you to do something for me.”

Me:        “What?”

Paul:      “I need you to hang on to this”

I am handed a brown paper bag.

Me:        “What’s in here?”

Paul:      “Just stuff I need you to hang on to”

Me:        “OMIGOD this is your p*rn stash! You want me to hide your p*rn?!

Paul:      “Will you keep it down already? You know how Mom freaked the last time”

(note that “the last time” was the prior year’s Boy Scout camping trip and idiot brothers #1 & #2 hid their collective stash between the mattress and box spring of brother #1’s bed. Which would have been OK except that my Mother decided to use this opportunity to do a good spring cleaning of their rooms and flip mattresses, etc. I was privy to her reaction upon finding the stash. It wasn’t good.)

Me:        “Why do I have to do this? Can’t you get one of your buds to cover for you?”

Paul:      “There’s no time. So, are you gonna hang on to this or not?”

Me:        “FINE FINE FINE – but you owe me big time!”

Paul:      “Cool. Just don’t look in the bag”

Me:        “You’re a complete perv!

Paul:      “Yeah. Whatever.”

So, I hid their stash inside a box at the back of my closet. And the whole time I felt like I have my very own “Tell Tale Heart” situation going on in there.  I swear, my mother knew – just knew – I was covering for them. She never said anything, but still….I JUST KNEW.

One of the longest weeks of my life!


2 responses to “Another Thing Big Sisters Do For Their Younger Brothers

  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    You’re a good sister. I can see you Mom flipping her lid. You saved all parties in this issue.
    Bear porn would be different. Cookbooks with recipes that use honey. 🙂

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