Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

It’s Valentines Day and I’ll love it if I want to

on February 14, 2014

I love Valentine’s Day.  Really, I do.  I love the goofy cheesiness.  I love the hoopla.  It’s fun and silly and it comes at the right time.   We’ve been dealing with nasty, dreary weather forever it seems.  Aren’t you ready for a little pick-me up already?  

But Maeve, it’s just a commercial trap to get us to buy things!

Yes, so what?  What’s wrong with something being commercial?  Do you like your local florist?  How about the local chocolate shop or lingerie shop or restaurants or bakery?  What’s wrong with frequenting their establishments and helping to keep a local economy running.  Lots of businesses like these, particularly the small businesses, owned by your neighbors, depend on “commercialized holidays” like Valentine’s Day to keep them open.  So frequent a local business; spread the love.

But Maeve, that may be all fine and good, but I don’t have anyone to share it with.

Oh really?  So it’s just a “for couples” sort of day?  You can’t use the day as an excuse to leave a note of appreciation to your postman?  How about the barista who makes your latte every day?  What about the janitor in your office or apartment building?  How about the newsstand guy?  There are lots of folks in our lives we interact with on a daily basis; I’ll bet you can think of a dozen more.  So what’s wrong with a card or a friendly “Happy Valentine’s Day” to any of the folks you encounter in your daily life?  Or maybe you have an elderly neighbor who doesn’t get many visitors.  Again, spread the love.

But Maeve, I hate the expectations my girlfriend/wife/whomever puts on me.  I never seem to get it right.  What if I mess up?

OK, you got me here – but it seems to me that this isn’t so much YOUR problem as the other person’s.  And quite frankly, if the “quality” or “quantity” of the Valentine’s expression is such a deal-breaker, then I’d suggest that what’s really needed is a Heart-to-Heart about what’s really important in life.  The thing about a gift is that one ought not to expect it, but rather be delighted when one is bestowed upon us.

But Maeve, I really have heartburn with this idea of calling out one day to “prove” your love.  What about all the other days of the year?  Don’t I show my love in all the things I do throughout the year?  Doesn’t that count?

Why take such a grim, dour attitude?  Aren’t there enough reasons to be all serious and sober and sensible, etc. all year long?  Can’t take one day to be lighthearted and sentimental?  Would it kill you?  Why take the attitude that embracing the silliness of Valentines’ day is akin to selling out?  It’s not selling out.  It’s just taking an opportunity for a little lightheartedness.  All too often we are consumed with the rigors of daily life – we have responsibilities to shoulder.  Maybe we’re naturally reticent or somewhat restrained in our displays of affection.  Use this ridiculous holiday to let down your guard and have a little fun.  The world will continue to rotate on its axis and the sun will rise tomorrow.  Nobody will think less of you (and if somebody does, well, screw ‘em!) – Maeve has spoken!


Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite “holidays” because it is so ludicrous.  We buy elaborate boxes of chocolates and huge bunches of flowers.  We go out to fancy schamacy restaurants (we may even use this as an excuse to get all gussied up with a manicure, pedicure, hair style and outfit with shoes to show it all off).  The point is, Valentine’s Day does not have to be that Day When It’s Painfully Thrown Into Relief That I Don’t Have A Sweetheart.   I don’t have one either, but it’s not going to stop me from enjoying this holiday.  I’m leaving a card for my mailman (because I forgot at Christmas and I feel really badly about it) and I’m going to make a point of calling one of the elderly ladies at my church to wish her a happy day and check on her to make sure all is well.  If I get to move away from the desk, I may just run some flowers over to her (ordinarily I’d bake her something, but I happen to know that she loves getting flowers, and it’s not supposed to be about me).

So go ahead and enjoy Valentine’s Day.  If you have someone special, get him, or her, a little treat that YOU want to give.  If it’s just you, pick up the phone and call a dear friend you haven’t spoken to in a while.  Bake yourself a pan of brownies and bear in mind that calories consumed this day do not count.

Happy Valentine’s Day


6 responses to “It’s Valentines Day and I’ll love it if I want to

  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Maeve, last Christmas, I ate a frozen pizza and watched Gettysburg. Tonight, it may be Gods and Generals.
    Thanks for the cheerful post and glad to know that you have bounced back.

  2. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    I know what’s missing-the bear video!

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