Wannabe Martha

Still trying to figure out which Martha

How some people in my house try to go to school with all the stuff they need

on December 3, 2013

Every morning Angharad drops Iseult off at the carpool (at about 0645) and then heads off to her own classes at Trident Tech.  I am very grateful that there is a carpool because the parochial high school is something like 20 miles away and, frankly, I don’t have the time to run there and back twice a day.  Happily, Jason, husband to my BF here, works near the HS, so a number of us from the parish chip in for gas and he schleps our kids.  I perform my daily commute from bedroom to sunroom by way of coffee pot and the day begins.  Usually.  Except for when the following happens:


0655 – My phone rings



“Are you home?”

(Allow me to pause here to clarify – I have worked from home for the last 7 years.  OF COURSE I’M HOME.)

“Yes honey I’m home.”

“OK well, like, I forgot my dress and shoes.”

“Forgot how?”

“They’re in the bag by the front door.  I forgot it when I was leaving.”

“I see.”

“So, like can you bring it to me this afternoon because I gotta have it for the dress rehearsal at 3.”

“Where are you now?”

“At the Thomases.  We haven’t left yet.”

“How long will you be there?”

“I don’t know”

“Well, will you ask because I can’t leave in the middle of the day to drive to Daniel Island to bring you your dress, but I can drop it off now.”

“We might be leaving.”

“Well, ASK how much longer you will be there Right Now!”

“Uh, who should I ask?”

“I don’t know Iseult – ask whoever will be driving the car.”

“Can I call you back?”

“NO you cannot call me back.  Ask now, or no dress”

“I gotta have my dress”

“Well then, I guess you know what you have to do.”

(There is some mumbling – presumably she is asking SOMEONE if they will still be there for the next 10 minutes or so).



“We’ll be here for like 10 minutes.  Can you get here.”

“Well, I’m already in the car, so yes.”

“You’re the best Mom ever!”

(See – Best Mom Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


18 responses to “How some people in my house try to go to school with all the stuff they need

  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Maeve, it ended well. So, it’s a “save”. There might be deeper layers here but, what would a bear know?

    • Maeve says:

      Fuzzie, the bag with the dress that she forgot when leaving the house – it was on the floor directly in front of the door. She, quite literally, had to step over it to leave the house. Now, I’m actually rather familiar with Selective Vision Syndrome (the people in my house appear to suffer from a chronic version of it), but what really got me was the whole not being able to figure out that she needed to determine if I could get the dress to her before she left for school.

      • FuzzieWuzzie says:

        Go ahead and call the bear stupid. Could we be dealing with a daughter to mother version of “fitness tests”?

      • Maeve says:

        I don’t know Fuzzie. Maybe. But I think she really just had her mind elsewhere and waltzed our the door oblivious to the fact that she didn’t have the dress until someone asked her where it was when she got to her carpool.

  2. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    This isn’t the first post dealing with Iseult’s forgetfulness. Maybe seeking the counsel of someone who has raised a lot of daughters might help. SSM?

    • Maeve says:

      Fuzzie, Iseult does test me. All the time. She’s making sure I’m not leaving her too. There really isn’t anything I can do about it other than to be consistent in my responses to her. And, yes, there is a very fine line between enabling bad behavior and providing the reassurance she needs – I don’t always get it right, but I can’t completely dismiss what’s going on with her. Her sister does it too, but in more subtle, difficult ways. If there’s anyone I really worry about, it’s Angharad. I made a terrible mistake in initially thinking that Iseult was the one who would be most negatively affected by their Dad leaving and I was very very wrong. She’s the one who keeps me up at night.

      • FuzzieWuzzie says:

        Maeve, I am so far out of my depth here. The only thing that I can see sa helping is demonstrating your constancy and that will take time.
        Feeding them yummy food will help. That would work with me.:)

      • theshadowedknight says:

        I am sorry to hear about your family problems. It reminds me of the stories I hear from the women around here of being nervous and ill at ease when their men are not around. Losing their father and the peace of mind his presence brings must be hard on them.

        Do you have any men related to you they could visit? Their grandfathers, uncles, something like that? It might not be the same, but they need a man’s influence in their lives, and a visit could be just the thing. It might even do you a bit of good to spend time with family.

        I hope all turns out well. I will pray for you and your daughters. God bless.

        The Shadowed Knight

      • Maeve says:

        TSK, my single biggest fear for them is that they are learning that “men leave”, because that’s what’s happening with every significant male in their lives: their maternal grandfather is deceased; their Dad leaves; their paternal grandfather tries to spend time with them, but it’s not enough and there is so much tension between my husband and his family that they’re virtually estranged at this point. So, my BIL hasn’t seen the girls in a couple years now, and then, as if that were not enough, my remaining brother (Godfather to both of them) committed suicide earlier this year, leaving behind a devastated wife and three sons. So, this is their experience as of now. I don’t want them to just assume that “men leave”; I think it’s horribly damaging to them. But I have no idea how to counter it, other than to encourage them to spend as much time with their Dad and Grandfather as possible and I say a lot of prayers. (and I appreciate yours greatly).

        I think I need to lighten up a bit – this is a rough time of year for me and I get a little bogged down.

      • donalgraeme says:

        I can’t imagine what you are going through. You and your family are in my prayers Maeve.

      • theshadowedknight says:

        Ouch. That is rough, and I cannot imagine what they must be feeling. I have had my own experience with family abandonment and betrayal, and the resulting estrangement. It is a hard thing to handle, but at least my parents were together through it all.

        That was the best thing for me. Spend as much time as possible with the rest of the family and focus on what we have, not what we have lost. I hope that they pull through and that it all works itself out. Beyond that, it is out of our hands.

        Girls, if you read this, take heart. I have seen something like this myself. It hurts for a while, but it heals with time. The most important part is to never allow yourself to lose hope.

        The Shadowed Knight

    • Amanda says:

      Maeve, I am so sorry. I will pray for you all as well. What a trial you are facing!

  3. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Maeve, I had no idea of the extent of this. If it helps, you and your family have made a friend of a silly old bear.

  4. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Maeve, to take your mind off your troubles, here’s what a British collegue is up to:

    • Maeve says:

      Completely hysterical Fuzzie! And I gather there are more of them! You know, I’m seriously considering setting up a Fuzzie’s Fav’s page where I can post all your finds. Problem is, I would need to figure out how to actually do that (create a page AND post your videos). Just seems that they should have a nice repository. Must think on this.

      • FuzzieWuzzie says:

        Maeve, I was afraid that you wouldn’t take it too well. It was meant as a diversion. It seems that Misery Bear is a BBC ewuivilent to SNL’s Mr. Bill ot a present day Dagwood Bumstead.
        Yes, there are more but, this one was the most outrageous.

      • Maeve says:

        Fuzzie, I watched it this morning & it just about sent me over the edge. Should have watched it last night – went to Iseult’s Christmas Concert and probably the most Extremely Awkward Situation I have encountered to date – and there have been numerous – but this one is holding a special place of DIShonor.

  5. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Maeve, I have a suspicion that someone is presuming too much on your good will and tolerance. Sounds like you need to set boundaries. Talk to your priest?

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