I know I’m a competent woman – have always know it, I suppose, but it never quite occurred to me to think about it. I was just…competent – at pretty much everything I ever set my mind to – and I don’t mean the “merely acceptable” definition.
Until I got (re)married, my own competence was sort of invisible to me. And actually it never really occurred to me that others were not exactly like I was – I just thought of myself as just “who I am – nothing extraordinary”. The Hubs has remarked on more than one occasion that I’m maybe the most intelligent person he’s ever met. Not tooting my horn here – hold on because there is a (sort of) point. Nevertheless, it usually goes something like this:
The Hubs: “You know, Maevey, you’re probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever met.”
Me: “Thank you Mr. Sweetie. Now why do I sense a “BUT” about to follow?”
The Hubs: “Because honest to God I cannot figure out how you think!”
Me: “What’s to figure out?”
The Hubs: “The obvious escapes you, you do realize this, don’t you?”
Me: “Uh, no, not really.”
The Hubs: “You managed multi-million dollar contracts; developed most of the procedures at your company, but you can’t manage a grocery budget.”
Me: “Not true – I can manage anything I set my mind to.”
The Hubs: “Why can’t you set your mind to managing the grocery budget? There are only three of us here right now and one of them eats out all the time. How can you spend $250 per week on the two of us?”
Me: “Well, I shop in case I change my mind.”
The Hubs: “Change your mind about what?”
Me: “What I cook for dinner.”
The Hubs: “I can’t follow where this is going.”
Me: Well, since YOU brought it up. You know I plan out our dinners and your lunches and all that. That’s all fine. But I need options in case I change my mind and don’t feeling like cooking what I had planned. I need to have things in the house in case I want to cook something else.”
The Hubs: “You’ve got to be out of your ever loving mind! You’re shopping like this because you MIGHT want to cook something different on a Tuesday?”
Me: “Yes.”
The Hubs: “Maevey – YOU CAN GO TO THE STORE MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK!” (I use all caps here, because this is generally delivered at a lowish level of roar.”
Me: “Stop shouting at me.”
The Hubs: “You are totally out of control!”
Me: “I know exactly what I’m doing.”
The Hubs: “I give up! There’s no getting through to you on this, is there?”
Me: “I thought you liked my cooking!”
The Hubs: “This has nothing to do with your cooking. I need you to reign in the grocery budget.”
Me: “OK – how much can I spend?”
The Hubs: “Let’s go with $100/week.”
Me: “So basically, soup and sandwiches?”
The Hubs: “No! Can’t you cook on a budget?”
Me: “Even I can’t work miracles!”
The Hubs: “Just try – PLEASE – just try!”
So I’m going to TRY and develop budgetary competence – for him, not for me. Because I’m loving like that!
